First, I want to include a little bit of what was going on and how I was doing from where I last left off on part one of my IVF journey. Rudy could see how depressed I was and he felt so helpless. I opened up and told him how I didn't want to continue with any more embryo transfer because I couldn't go through another let down like that again. I was slowly picking up the broken pieces and if I were to go through another failed cycle I don't think I'd survive it. Rudy wasn't ready to give up and urged me to wait until my phone appointment with the Dr to see what he says before making a decision. I knew he meant well but he would never fully understand what a woman goes through or feels when dealing with infertility and a failed cycle. As the days and weeks went by I started to feel a little better. I had mine and Rudy's list of questions for our Dr. and I was ready to hear what he had to say on what was next for our journey.
November 13, 2019
I just had my phone appointment with the Dr and I'm pleased to say it went really well and like always he left me with a lot of hope. He explained that I had a great cycle apart from the failed transfer. He said my numbers were great throughout my entire cycle with twenty-three eggs retrieved, twenty-one mature, twelve fertilized, and a total of eight good looking embryos (with seven now in the freezer). He even said the development of our embryos were really good. I have a normal uterus and my lining was thick, at the end of the day the embryo probably didn't attach due to it having an abnormal chromosome. My Dr mentioned that it's quite common for the first transfer to not always work and there's usually more success in a second transfer especially a Frozen Embryo Transfer, FET. He told me that he feels our second transfer will have a much better end result. He explained that I would be doing a frozen cycle next and that it would consist of Estradiol pills, Endometrin (Progesterone) suppository both that I took for our first transfer, along with Dexamethasone pills, Estradiol patches, and the infamous Progesterone in oil injections. We then went over the costs for our second cycle and concluded the appointment by adding us to the IVF list, again. So we were indeed set for a second IVF cycle to transfer one of seven of our frozen em-babies.
November 22, 2019
I received a call that we were cleared for our FET! Now we just have to call them to choose a start date for our cycle. I have been doing a lot better since getting the news of our negative test. I've been trying to let go of things that are out of my control, reminding myself that I am not on any timeline and that everything will happen as it's supposed to. I feel like I must have had an epiphany because I have a completely different mindset when it comes to this journey Rudy and I are on. I'm ok that we have to do IVF. I've finally come to terms and accepted that I have to do IVF to get that baby I have been dreaming of for so long. This is my story, this is my journey. I've been pretty zen with everything and seriously keeping a positive mindset about this cycle. I'm not sure if this makes sense but I feel different and strongly about these next steps. Putting out nothing but positivity into the world in hopes for it to return to me.
December 26, 2019
The clinic has finally called me and I officially paid and booked our FET which is set for the week of February fifteen! I realized that February fifteen was our very first appointment with our old fertility Dr and basically the start of this whole fertility journey. A year later we'll be doing our second transfer, wild how that happened. What if it's a good sign? My next step is to give the clinic a call to let them know when I start my cycle so that I can begin birth control and they'll inform me with further instructions.
December 30, 2019
One of the REI's from the clinic called me today to inform me that my calendar was all done! That was super quick. She went over it with me real quick and let me know the dates for my appointments. With this cycle, there's a total of three appointments. She let me know the dates for when I will begin my medications and the official date of our embryo transfer which is on February seventeen! I am feeling so excited about this transfer but also overwhelmed. Once I got off the phone I couldn't stop the tears from falling. I'm excited, nervous, scared, anxious, happy, and I pray to God that this transfer works. We deserve this. I've been telling myself if this transfer doesn't work it's ok because we can try again. I'm really trying to prepare myself just in case and I will be ok. We've been very fortunate thus far.
January 6, 2020
Today is day one of my cycle and I will begin birth control tomorrow until January twenty-five.
All of my medications came in the mail! Things are feeling more real. I have a big feeling inside that this transfer is going to work.
Baseline Appointment!
Today was my baseline appointment and like usual I was nervous. I really want everything to go smoothly. Dr said my ovaries were looking good and that my lining was a little thick which means that once I stop birth control I might get a period. As of now my last day of birth control is Saturday and then Sunday I will begin Dexamethasone pills, Estradiol pills, and the patches.
Lining Check!
The appointment was very quick and went well. Ovaries were looking good and my lining was thick, 9mm! After seeing the Dr. I met up with the case manager and everything is set to continue medications. On Wednesday I will begin Progesterone in oil injections and she let me know that we would be transferring our 5BA embryo. This transfer feels so right!
Today was my first PIO injection and it wasn't bad at all. I'm not sure if it'll get harder as the weeks go by or if my bum will get irritated. I have a feeling I'll be fine doing this until ten weeks of pregnancy. Friday I start Endometrin suppository then Monday is transfer day. Things are moving by so quick!! I'm so excited and ready for this transfer! Give me my em-baby!
Transfer Day!
As soon as we arrived at the hospital things moved so quickly. We were called into the room to check my bladder immediately. We then met with the embryologist to give us an update on our embryo. (Not all embryos survive the thawing and if they do they can lose cells.) He let us know that our embryo was doing so good. He said it did very well thawing, our healthiest embryo was a 5BA and it has a 100% survival rate! I feel this is our miracle embryo. The embryologist mentioned that back in October before they froze our remaining embryos they did assist hatching to the embryo which I was very pleased to hear. Assisted hatching is a technique to aid with the embryo hatching and implantation process. This increases the chances of the embryo to hatch from its shell and successfully implant. Once the Dr came in she introduced herself and I really liked her. We got set up and she told me she had used a wash on my downstairs that they used to culture my embryo. I'm not exactly sure what that means but I'm just hoping this helps us even more with having this embryo attach. Once we got to the car I cried so many tears of joy. I really feel it in my bones that this is going to work! I am doing three full days of bed rest, something I didn't do last time, and I hope this helps. It feels so surreal that we finally transferred our embryo.
February 22, 2020
Five Days Post Transfer!
I haven't been feeling any differently lately. I get a tiny bit of cramps and today I felt a lot more cramping through the day. It feels like period cramps to be quite honest and sometimes like a pulling muscle sensation but a bit strong. Today I also started feeling tired and needed to take multiple naps. Aside from that, I'm not feeling much which is kind of leaving me to think that this transfer didn't work... but I'm trying not to think that BETA is in a few days!
It's night time and I noticed that when I went to the bathroom I was very lightly spotting when I wiped. I'm kind of nervous.
Six Days Post Transfer!
I woke up this morning and was again very lightly spotting and having some cramps. Rudy and I went out to run errands and once we got home I went to the bathroom and again when I wiped I was spotting. Very bright pink on the paper and at this point I was getting concerned. I thought I could possibly be starting my period. I decided to take one of my cheapy dollar store HPT, a home pregnancy test. For the first time in my life, I got a very faint second line. I didn't know how to feel about that, I think because I've been dealing with infertility for years that I only know how to deal with negative HPT, not positive ones. I honestly didn't know whether the test was even accurate especially since it was so faint, or maybe because it's still too early to test. I'm in disbelief and worried because of the spotting/cramping. Could this be implantation bleeding? I'm confused but I have decided that I will be testing again the morning before BETA. Whatever the results may be BETA will confirm it.
February 25, 2020
Eight Days Post Transfer - Morning before BETA!
I woke up super early when Rudy got up for work and I couldn't go back to sleep. I was way too anxious because I knew in just a few hours I would be taking the test. After tossing and turning for a while I finally decided to get up. I peed in a cup and decided to take my last cheapy dollar store test before using up my Clearblue ones. I dropped a few drops of my pee on the test waited a couple of minutes for the result and to my surprise.... TO BE CONTINUED!
I'm so sorry to kind of leave you guys with a cliff hanger but trust me it'll be worth it. If you have been joining me since I started sharing my fertility journey thank you so much! Expect to see the continuation of this post in the next couple of weeks!
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