Currently

Feeling: so grateful for this new life! So much has happened and changed in 2018. I know I have already mentioned this but I am so pleased where it has taken me. I'm so grateful for where I am today it feels so right and I can 100% say I have never felt happier. I am surrounded by so much love and support it's a bit overwhelming at times but great! When 2018 started I felt extremely alone which is probably one of the worst feelings a person with a mental illness can have. I still can't believe the turn around my life has taken and it always amazes me how everything truly does happen for a reason.

Nervous: for the future! This feels pretty unusual for me to actually fear the future since normally I'm excited to see what's ahead. For some reason this year I'm scared. I have noticed a bit of a pattern within the last couple of years. I feel optimistic and excited and then it all comes crashing down on me. Sure I have had a lot of great moments but I have also had major traumatic events happen to me as well. I was asking myself many times what else is going to be thrown at me or when will I catch a break. Clearly, I don't ever share any of the bad things that happen to me because I don't always like to talk or even think about them. I just want to forget and move, that's my mentality. I am now looking at the New Year like, what is going to happen to me next. I try not to dwell too much because I don't enjoy the negative energy but I guess we'll find out. Am I the only one who feels this way? Regardless I'm going to try and send out positive vibes only. I believe that you receive the energy that you put out into the world.

Needing: a little break from blogging? Now that the Holidays have officially come to an end I feel like I need a tiny break from blogging, mostly working on posts. In December I really pushed myself with all of the Holiday related content I published and it was so satisfying once each post was completed. However, it was also a bit stressful at times especially when I wanted to make sure I stuck with posting, for example, my ornament collection series every Monday until Christmas. There were times that I thought I wasn't going to make it, that I wasn't going to finish editing or completing a post yet I managed to do so. I want to be more relaxed with future posts and not pressure myself. I'm probably going to go back to only posting one to two posts a week again. Or maybe more who knows but we'll see.

Planning: a trip! Rudy and I were talking a couple of weeks ago about places we want to travel to. We both love exploring places nearby and some a little further out but we haven't really done much traveling outside of California or Washington. Rudy mentioned a couple of places as did I and I think we made a decision to where we want to go and explore next! I'm not going to share too many details because nothing is set in stone yet. It's a goal we only just set and are now going to try to save up to make it a reality. I'm really excited just thinking about the possibility of us going there.

Loving: my new camera! For a while, I have been wanting to step up my photo taking game. Both Rudy and I had been wanting to invest in a nice camera for some time and with much researching, we decided that for the new year we would treat ourselves to one. I sold my old Samsung camera and we bought ourselves the Canon M6. We have been loving this camera so much! We recently took it with us to San Francisco and had so much fun playing around with it at a cute coffee shop which I can't wait to share in the future. Rudy is obsessed, to say the least. I'm very impressed with how great photos it takes. I can't wait to play with it some more and learn even more about all of its features. The intro photo above was taken with the camera.

Wanting: to try and do a monthly currently post! These are one of my favorite posts to write because it's very laid back and pressure free. It consists of a variety of things that are currently going on in my life, also a great post to have and look back on. It's been months since I last shared a currently post and I really miss doing them. I know sometimes I really don't have a clue about what to write but I want to make this a goal of mine for the year. Even if I only have two paragraphs in the post to go ahead and publish it anyway. I want to have one post of these a month so that by the end of the year I can look back and remember everything I was currently thinking, loving, wanting, needing, obsessing over, hating, and doing.